Rape prevention tips

Ten rape prevention tips:

1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.

2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.

3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.

4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.

5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.

6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.

7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.

9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.

10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.

My co-worker recently created this list, inspired by sites like this. As I was reading, I couldn’t decide if I should laugh or be horrified by the reality that violence prevention tips are always aimed at what the targeted person should do (judgment strongly implied) to protect themselves.

In the past two weeks, headlines about rape have flooded the news—CBS Reporter Recounts a ‘Merciless’ Assault, Congo study sets estimates of rape much higher , Peace Corps volunteer speaks out on rape. And, of course, IMF Chief charged with rape. I am glad to see people speaking out about rape. But raising awareness isn’t enough. How do we actually change perpetrators’ thoughts and convince them not to rape?

If you experienced rape as a reporter, a Peace Corps volunteer, a war survivor, a hotel maid, or by your partner, you don’t need rape prevention tips. It is the rapist and the culture around us that excuses, supports, and looks away that we must change.

180 thoughts on “Rape prevention tips”

  1. I wish it were that easy. I really do. But, the people who need to read this, and learn from it, won’t do either. They’re the boss. They don’t need no pansy-ass list to tell them what to do with wimmen. They’ll do as they dayum well please!

    Techniques for reducing rape boil down to two broad categories:
    – Educating potential rapists.
    – Empowering potential victims, both before and after the event.

    Neither will stop problem. Both are important.

    Note that I did not include the word “punishing” in the first broad category. That’s a deliberate choice for an unfortunate reason. That unfortunate reason is that the minimum condition for the successful punishment of a rapist is an empowered victim.

    I wish it were different.

  2. Thanks for all the comments. I too wish it were different, and that is why this list captured my attention. I hope we can keep pushing for the answer(s) that will push our culture towards change.

  3. Check this site out (if you don’t know of it already.) I do not agree with the name “slutwalk”, but this is a good thing. There are pictures of the Vancouver B.C. slutwalk, and you should check out the signs, some of the signs have very powerful messages..like..nobody ever asked ME what my RAPIST was wearing.

  4. Unfortunately, you cannot prevent a first time rapist, but once you have them here is my simple 3 step plan to prevent rape:

    Step 1 – take rapist out back behind the courthouse

    Step 2 – shoot the in the back of the head.

    Step 3 – Leave them for vultures to clean up.

    This plan will unfortunately not prevent rapes totally, but it will guarantee that there are no multiple offenders which considering the recidivism rate of rapist though it is a good start.

  5. Are you kidding? Is this done with intentional sarcasm or did someone actually think a page like this would provide anything of value? Is it a joke and I am just missing the point?

  6. @Eileen, thanks for your comment. Yes, our intention was to use sarcasm/satire to get people out of that mainstream mindset of always focusing on how a victim can/should prevent rape. Certainly using sarcasm in this way doesn’t resonate with everyone, but I hope this continues to spark conversation about how we can focus responsibility where it belongs.

  7. @Dan, my thoughts are: revenge is not justice. violence is not a deterrent. cleaning up is not prevention. i, and many activists and organizations around the world, remain committed to ending violence — preventing it before it starts, and eliminating concern about recidivism that way.

  8. A rapist should be bound prone, and their victims should be allowed to abuse them in any way, or if they’re too traumatized, declare a deputy to abuse the rapist for them.
    There is insufficient penalty for power-violence. I don’t think society really understands how fucked-up a person has to be to enjoy dominating someone against their will.

  9. Thank you so much for this article. It is so incredibly wounding to have people saying that if women don’t want to be raped, they must give up their basic freedoms. Don’t go for a walk by myself. Don’t go anywhere after dark. Wear running shoes. Don’t go anywhere without a lot of people. Don’t dress “provocatively” (whatever the hell that means). Carry some type of weapon. It’s all about women making themselves prisoners before a rapist even tries to lay a hand on her.

  10. DAMIANNE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    When law enforcement gives rape prevention tips, they offer them to potential VICTIMS because the vicitim can control her actions.

    The victim can not control the assailants.

    Now would you waste time advising thieves NOT to steal, or make PRODUCTIVE use of time by advising people how to safeguard his or property from thieves.

    POLICE can not be everywhere. There are steps one can take to avoid being a victim.

    I guess law enforcement must realize no good deed goes unpunished.

  11. And the best way to prevent rape …
    Stop defining a woman getting drunk and (regrettably) sleeping with a random stranger as rape.

  12. It is crazy that it’s still so socially acceptable.

    I’m a college kid and I go to the University of Arizona but I’ve got a lot of best friends in the East. One of them was telling us (she goes to University of Vermont) that an entire fraternity offered the male population a survey that asked –

    “If you could rape anyone in the world, who would it be?”

    I don’t think I’ve ever been more taken aback in my life, and that’s not the all-girl feminist high school talking. It goes without saying that the entire fraternity (Sigma Chi) is now suspended indefinitely from her campus.

  13. I agree with the spirit of this concept. It is most certainly not the *responsibility* of a victim.
    I believe, however, that it is within the *capability* of any potential victim to take measures to reduce vulnerability.
    I also understand that, as a male, I’m not really in a position to understand entirely.

  14. Eh this is a ridiculous point. We have rape prevention advice and rape awareness on the part of the potential victim because it is actually effective, rape victims are usually normal people who can absorb information and alter their behavior in line with warnings. The same cannot obviously be applied to a rapist, a person beyond the normal spectrum of control and education. A person who is by definition on the outside of social mores, a person who knows on a societal level that rape is wrong yet will still pursue it. This post is ridiculous. I’m still not sure what the point is, could the author propose an actual rapist-education program that has merit?

  15. Rape awareness ads targeted at potential victims do no lay the responsibility at the victim’s door, as has been suggested, they pragmatically attempt to reduce the amount of rapes by arming people with awareness and vigilance. It is a pragmatic approach, it is not suggesting that it is the victim’s fault. Get real.

  16. Alex and Hugh: I understand where you’re coming from. Of course when people give women advice on how to avoid being raped, they are trying to help and to empower women. But the question is, does the advice really help or not?

    There’s a great article on Salon about all the ways that this advice-giving, regardless of its intended effect, is harmful (http://www.salon.com/2011/12/14/how_to_prevent_rape_without_blaming_victims/singleton/).

    I encourage you to read the whole thing, but here are some of the main points:

    “The notion that [what you do] influences your chance of being raped is just one of the ways that we delude ourselves into believing that rape happens to other women – women who aren’t as smart or cautious.”

    “these tips transform “in the police station and courtroom into a list of reasons to let the rapist off the hook,” Amanda Marcotte says. “I can’t really think of a tip that hasn’t been wielded by a defense attorney at some point in time to insinuate consent on the part of the victim”

    “And, frequently, there are additional layers of ick, like the recommendation to always take a cab to one’s door — which assumes everyone has the financial ability to take cabs everywhere” and that “cabbies don’t sometimes rape people, too.”

    “The truth is, there’s no such thing as a ‘rape prevention tip’ for potential victims, because the only way to prevent being raped is to never be in the same space as a determined rapist, over which we often have no control, which is why most survivors have been raped in a familiar place by a person known to them,” Melissa McEwan says.

    “Even with a serial rapist on the loose, women in your ‘hood are still much, much more likely to be raped by someone they know,” Jaclyn Friedman says. “Focusing so hard on stranger danger means we pay less attention to warning signs from people we’re acquainted with, and it also contributes to our cultural unwillingness to believe victims when they’re attacked by someone they know.”

    “Are there any women in the U.S. who don’t know [these tips]? I’m willing to believe that number approaches zero,” Jaclyn Friedman says. “Repeating that advice isn’t helpful, it’s just shaming all of us for not being perfect at following those impossible rules.”

  17. Oh. I was leaning more toward self-defense practices, chemical weapons and concealed-carry.
    I don’t think a woman should have to even *consider* her behavior or outfit or surroundings to avoid being raped. It should not happen anywhere, for any reason.
    I would like to see more would-be rapists injured or killed by well-prepared women.

  18. Hugh: Thanks for sharing that great PSA. My intent – like this ad – is to shift our culture away from blaming the victim. To your point about rapists being “beyond the normal spectrum” my fellow blogger (https://canyourelate.org/2010/12/14/no-surprise/) points out that people can be “admired, talented … AND a rapist.”
    I think this type of conversation, shifting the focus from victims to the perpetrators, and realizing that rapists include folks we all know, is what we need to end this kind of violence.

  19. From my own experience as a college peer adviser, guys who rape are mostly regular guys. Maybe on a power trip, maybe messed up, maybe drunk or high, but mostly just regular people – not monsters – whom other people loved and cared about, and who often had some good qualities, who did terrible, terrible things. And this was because because they thought they had a right to control women (and often, other men too).

    Changing that mentality is what will stop rape.

  20. Pingback: orgasmus

    Ridiculing rape and rape victims by publishing this absurd set of directions for rapists doesn’t do any good, only harm.

    I read this and some of the comments and it is very clear that there are a lot of very stupid people on this planet ready to follow the very stupid people of this planet.

    1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks. Don’t drug anyone. It’s a crime! Don’t commit any crimes.

    2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone. Don’t harass anyone. It’s a crime.

    3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her. That is not funny! Rape is no joke.

    4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her. Dn’t murder oher either and don’t write on the elevator walls. Don’t spit, don’t defecate and don’t blow your brains out either.

    5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her. That is not funny. There is no option. Rape is a crime. You left out all the others. Don’t steal her wallet. Don’t kill her. Don’t spit on her or assault her in any way. Don’t do any other crimes either.

    6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her. Not funny! Rape is no joke!

    7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room. Don’t commit any crime. Don’t kill them. Don’t rob them. Don’t do crime.

    8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times. You have been talking to rapists. Are you now telling rapists to use the buddy system?

    9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you. Rape is no joke. You are not funny.

    10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her. This is not funny. Rape is no joke.

  22. Ridiculing rape and rape victims encourages a rape culture. ALready women must fear half the men they would meet because of violence, rape, kidnapping, robbery and fraud. Do you really think you are being funny? Rape is no joke. This page is disgusting. Take it down.

  23. Using satire or humour about rape further normalises a rape culture and the high instance of sexual violence in global society. Your misogynistic mockery of rape only increases the instance of rape.

    Promoting crime is a crime of itself.

    Take this page down!
    RINJ dot Org
    Rape Is No Joke

  24. The page suggests rapists carry pink rape whistles. We have a campaign running to get this ‘Rape Joke’ taken down. This page steals some of the material and uses it out of context. On the page they claim they are trying to make “satire or humour” about rape to get their point across. It is effing ridiculous and horrible that after the global publicity Facebook got, people are trying to gain points by making a joke of Rape!!

    This was the original the above came from. http://womensstudies.homestead.com/tipsformen.html <- This was the correct page where men were talking to men.

  25. So a website told you to stick “rape is no joke” under this post, and told you to ask for it to be taken down. And you complied, because you like other people to do your thinking for you. Sheep.

  26. These aren’t very useful tips. Can you imagine a similar list of tips to potential murderers about not murdering someone? Instead, you need to focus on what people can do to not become a victim.

  27. To all the RINJ commenters, what on earth are you on about? If you find this list startling, satirical or in some way inappropriate, to me that says you’ve unconsciously bought into the “blame the victim” mentality which you should be fighting! Obviously this is not practical advice in the world we live in. But what it does do is combat the culture which says a rape victim is in any way to blame, and it does that by startling. The first time I read it (on a Slutwalk post), it startled me, and then I thought, “Why is this in any way startling? My god, I’ve bought this sh!t that it *should* be up to women to protect themselves”.

    Practically, of course women have to protect themselves, but ethically, they shouldn’t *have* to. This page highlights how far we are from a culture which places the blame for rape fairly and squarely on the rapist. It highlights that women should not have to give up basic freedoms like wearing what they want, going where they want, doing what they want, because of fear of rape. It says we need to work towards a culture in which rape is socially repellent behaviour and completely unacceptable, full stop. We need more pages like this, not less.

  28. “Why is this in any way startling? My god, I’ve bought this sh!t that it *should* be up to women to protect themselves.”

    … So, then you bought into the shit that women should be helpless and defenseless? I don’t think so. I hope you don’t think so.

    Men… No, ~People~ need to take No for an answer, and take silence for a No. People ~also~ need to understand that not everyone will take that No for an answer, and how back up their No with whatever determination is necessary.

  29. Dafydd, I think you’ve missed my point. Yes, we need to understand that not everyone will take No for an answer, and be willing to back up our No. Because that is the world we live in – there’s no point being a dewy-eyed idealist about it. But that gets morphed into an assumption that it is our moral responsibility to protect ourselves, and from there it’s not a very big step to “we brought it on ourselves” – because of not being tough enough or careful enough or responsible enough.

    Instead we should be saying that yes, practical reality dictates that we have to protect ourselves, *and* that is wrong, a form of oppression, and an indictment of the culture we live in. It’s the latter part – that this is not right – that we forget very easily, and reading this makes us realise just how pervasive that forgetfulness is.

    The quote in Reed’s comment (#32) is relevant:

    “these tips transform “in the police station and courtroom into a list of reasons to let the rapist off the hook,” Amanda Marcotte says. “I can’t really think of a tip that hasn’t been wielded by a defense attorney at some point in time to insinuate consent on the part of the victim”

  30. I don’t know about “moral.” But, I can demonstrate that we have a responsibility, as individuals, to protect ourselves with just the notions that a major arterial laceration can kill us in 30 seconds, and a 911 response will almost never take less than 2 minutes. (1 to make the call, another go get the report to the units in the field.)

    If you’re alone, you have a better chance of saving yourself than you have of getting rescued. That counts in rape, murder, lost in the woods, arm crushed under a boulder, lost at sea, airplane crash in the Andes, and many other examples from history. And, you can be alone with many people still around. Sometimes, your determination to survive may not be superior to someone else’s. Just ask the Donner party.

    Beyond that, go back to my comment #2. It’s relevant to your point. The only way to stop a rapist is an empowered victim. That victim can either stop the rape before it starts, or be willing to go through the endless court battles you mention. The rapist can either be dissuaded at the time, or sent to jail.

    The third alternative amounts to weakening the rights of the defendant. To say, effectively, that a person accused of rape is not Innocent Until Proven Guilty, or is not entitled to a vigorous defense. I’m not sure how close we want to get to that slippery slope.

    I see lots of words spoken and written about educating the potential rapist. I agree with virtually all of it. I don’t see nearly enough about empowering the potential victim. Are potential victims getting ignored in order to avoid upsetting actual victims? Who are we saving, there?

  31. Wow. When I first read this, I actually thought the thesis was that “Don’t Rape” is the critical message, not “Don’t get Raped”. Silly me. It was actually a joke intended to trivialize rape. And in error, since it didn’t also cover every other kind of crime.

  32. I am STUNNED at the vast number of people who did not recognize the Rape Prevention List as satire.

    Maybe the tool of satire is not commonly used enough in a democracy because there is no need to create a message within a message in order to prevent prosecution. Who knows?

    I found this list valuable to remind me not to be scared, and to give a big F.U. to the violent men out there who think that by virtue of having a penis, they can do whatever they want in this world.

  33. My son’s Health teacher handed it out to his 9th grade class and I thought it was totally inappropriate. I get the sarcasm but to hand this out to a class to be taken seriously is not right at all and it gives them the wrong message. I wasn’t happy about this.

  34. To end violent sexual crimes, and most others, all you have to do is eliminate the the crime of repression and guilt committed by organised religion; then within a generation or 2–voila!! Genuine Human Beings…….

  35. “When law enforcement gives rape prevention tips, they offer them to potential VICTIMS because the vicitim can control her actions.

    The victim can not control the assailants.”

    Do you mean to imply that assailants cannot control their actions? Why should we be holding them to a lower standard than we do victims? That is messed up.

  36. Thanks. You’re helped me to reconsider all those violent tendencies I didn’t know I had. Maybe you could follow up with some advice on how not to murder people.

    We men really are a filthy bunch, aren’t we?

  37. Woah, woah, woah. Guys get raped too. Why does this list make it seem like women are the only victims of rape? Please tell me that this is an attempt at satire..

  38. I agree with Jon W. I mean, why is this ONLY directed towards women? Women can rape men/women, Men can rape women/men. Why is these ‘tips’ so sexist?

  39. Maybe because it’s been one sided for a long time…just food for thought.
    Would you like some links?
    I mean I’m pretty sure guys get raped like girls, but come on, sexist? Isn’t that like going to a girl’s bathroom and getting pissed because there is no urinal?
    There are plenty articles about what you’re whining about, so please go get your equality somewhere else. I’m pretty sure that’s what Google is there for.

  40. Sexual assault can be the most tormenting experience that anyone can go through. It is very important to practice precautionary measures to protect ourselves from being a victim of such. This information you have shared are very helpful in doing so. Thanks for sharing.

  41. Good lord, all you people who are offended (either defensively of men or defensively of rape-is-no-joke), or who took this as real advice anyone would think someone would follow (vs advice we wish people would take), have you never seen the scores of Rape Prevention Tips women get told, emailed, handed out, posted in bathrooms etc? We hear such Tips all the time, how WE can act differently than usual, to prevent someone from raping us. But what an idea, actually what if rapists just didn’t do it? This is turning that around, that’s all. Fabulous!!!

  42. I don’t mean to say you should take it down or anything, but just by means of information I think this list may predate yours by about a year and a half and your coworker may have been referring to it when they wrote the one you posted

    But I’m not even sure if that is the original! It is very difficult to track this list down (other than the tipsformen.html one, which since it doesn’t include the “Buddy System” thing I have to assume arose independantly)
    But that being said, this list cannot be posted enough, and I love that you have spread it

  43. To very loosely paraphrase a Terry Pratchett line – for women to reduce or eliminate rape, they are asked/expected to do quite a lot.

    For men to do the same, they just need to not rape anyone.

    My husband and I are raising our two sons to see the second option as the more appropriate.

  44. NO. No. No. No. You’re promoting the idea that stranger rape is the most common. IT’S NOT. A woman can be raped by her date, someone she knows at a party, someone she knows in general, a friend, etc. It doesn’t happen in a back alley or laundry room. It happens in a woman’s bedroom, on her couch, at his place.

    Check your facts before making things worse for (possible) rape victims.

  45. You’re right.
    Here’s the thing. To make this happen would require enlightenment on an almost cosmic scale, and the complete eradication of a patriarchal system (and the attitudes appertaining thereunto) that’s been raping, pillaging and plundering for a thousand years.
    I don’t know how to do that.
    What I DO know how to do is to teach individual women how to kick the shit out of anyone who tries to rape them.
    That’s not a cure.
    That’s a band-aid.
    But it’s all I’ve got, and I think it’s better than doing nothing (Doing SOMETHING is a moral imperative)



  46. thanks god i read that, i was just about to rape some women.
    seriously, males despice rape as much as you do. people who rape (male and female too) are sick, this post is as pointless as one reminding people not to be serial killers.

  47. An excellent post that puts the responsibility squarely where it needs to be: on rapists. THANK YOU for shifting the burden off women to change their behavior and wear non-suggestive clothes or carry a rape whistle and turn the focus on where it needs to be: MEN don’t rape! End of discussion.

  48. I was raped 42 years ago by a power rapist. These are people who cannot be educated and changed. I was carefully watched, stalked, followed, staked out and then raped in my own apartment in a locked building. I was a strong, brave, smart and independent woman at that time. I was beaten up and raped for hours. When I was moving out three weeks later, the rapist returned. Luckily I had friends with me.
    What has changed in the past 42 years is that men can be prosecuted for rape, and the social values have tipped somewhat in favor of the victim.
    That which is emphasized in this little article is where the responsibility belongs and everyone needs to believe it. Teach it to your children. There is no excuse for rape, and some rapists do it again and again. They need to be locked up for good. There is no rehab for those guys.

  49. I once attended a “self-defense” talk for women only given by a local law enforcement officer. He stated that there is no such thing as rape and he could prove it. He demonstrated with a coke bottle and a straw that it’s impossible to put the straw in the coke bottle as long as the coke bottle keeps moving. Thus, the straw cannot “rape” the coke bottle! I was unbelievably the only woman who walked out and reported his sorry ass.

    That’s how pervasively we blame the victim.

  50. Loved reading this! Most women are sexually assaulted in their lives and I’m so sick of reading things “they could’ve done to avoid it” you’re so right, old mentality leaves the victim feeling like it’s her fault, when it NEVER is.

  51. I really appreciate the point this makes, but I think it would do so more clearly with less potential for derailing if it didn’t use gendered nouns or pronouns.
    Thanks for doing this!

  52. I believe society makes the list of way to prevent being raped much like we do safe driving tips except the part that missing is they do not work because we are dealing with predators who don’t care about safety rules. We give out these rules as a way to feel safe – not as a way to be safe. If I do this and this then I will be safe. She was raped because she did that, so if I don’t do that I will be safe. What we are really doing is fooling ourselves and making women feel guilty for a violent crime that was done to her person.

    The best advise I can or would give anyone is to listen to her/his gut feelings and not to be too polite to act on them. The second piece of advise would be to remain aware enough to hear that inner voice. That goes for all genders. We just make better choices if we are not completely wasted.

    Thanks for list, nicely done!

  53. Hugh, that’s actually a myth, about rapists being totally fucked up people who can’t be educated. You’re right about rape victims being normal people, but unfortunately the same is true of many rapists! It would be nice to think that rapists are some tiny marginal group of nutters, but if that were the case, we’d have a lot less rapes.

    I just read about a research where men were asked if they had done certain things to a woman, or if they would do those things under certain circumstances. A staggering number of men admitted they had done those things, or would, under those certain circumstances. The actions described in the survey were different sex scenarios where the woman was unwilling, i.e. rape. The word “rape” was never used of course, because if they’d been asked “Have you ever raped someone?” everyone would have said no.

    The men who answered the questionnaire weren’t convicts, I think they were students, and they identified as normal human beings. It’s just that, they didn’t seem to know what counts as rape. So yeah, some men – potential unwitting rapists – need to be educated about these things.

    Maybe this list doesn’t really help with that because it doesn’t, for example, give clear examples of women’s body language when they don’t want to have sex, contrasted with examples of the body language of a willing partner. But at least lists such as this draw attention to the fact that (potential) rapists need to be educated, and that the blame and responsibility should be on the rapist, not on the victim.

  54. I think we can also stop rape this way:

    When you’re going to the bar or nightclub for a night out with the girls, don’t wear slutty clothes.

    Don’t challenge men, or piss them off. It makes them rapey.

    Don’t look men in the eyes. Keep your gaze downward.

    Don’t announce to the world you are reclaiming your inner slut.

    Don’t have rape fantasies.

    Don’t aggressively come on to dominant alpha males. They think you’re inviting them to rape you.

    Stop attending women’s focus groups, women’s agencies, feminist organizations, social justice clubs. It’s just…wrong. And it makes men want to rape you.

    Stop going to college or university. You’re wasting tax dollars with your Human Services/Social Work Degree. You make people want to rape you when you do that. I know I do.

    I could go on but I am a little tired now. The most important thing, ladies, is behave yourselves. Stop being bitches. Get back in the home. You just might not get raped.

  55. Offensive and condescending. It assumes that women never rape, and that men cannot be raped. This is chauvinism, nothing more.

  56. “I loved this. Rape prevention really is not the responsibility of the victim!”.

    If women take zero responsibility for their well-being, then they become the ultimate victim. The fight for suffrage was about the removal of any superstructural impediment that barred women from making decisions about their bodies, their money, their talents and their beliefs.

    If we continually fixate on imagined substructural chimeras like “patriarchy”, then we deny women the autonomy that we fought for. Liberty is subsumed by authority, and everything becomes the fault of the system. Consequently, women lose the ability to assess risk entirely, and become wards of the state, which is far worse in the long run than being dependent upon the patronage of any man.

    If someone gets in my house through an open window, it doesn’t make them any less a thief, and it doesn’t make them any less deserving of their punishment. If I lock my windows, however, the problem never arises. It’s only my vigilance that’s going to alter anyone’s behaviour towards me.

  57. I wanted to thank whoever wrote this post, it gave us (my girlfriend is here) something to just LAUGH OUT LOUD. We even tried to reenact the scenes just for the heck of it but it never seemed to end in rape. Now I wonder why that is…

    On further note, on point SafeBuddy, is he also a rape-ridden man or is he just… oh, never mind d( ^_^)b

  58. Misandrist gribberish of the worst kind. Everyone with even a few functioning braincells, male or female, takes some measure of precaution to prevent their own victimisation. We lock our doors and windows, we cover our pin at atms, we lock our cars, we don’t leave our wallets or phones down in public and wander off expecting them to be there when they come back. The author of this nonsense is likely one of those people who would attack someone who is giving sound preventative advice as being a “victim-blamer”. How divorsed from reality do you have to be to think that nothing about your behaviour has any impact on the likelyhood of your victimisation. If I wander into a notoriously crime-ridden part of town and start bragging about how much money I have in my wallet and am subsequently mugged; I am a victim of the crime. It shouldn’t have happened to me. Nothing I did gave anyone the right to mug me but I most certainly could have done things a little differently to reduce the likelyhood of being mugged.

    It matters exactly nothing that my mugger has no right to mug me. It matters nothing that I don’t deserve to be mugged. If I am staring down the barrel of a gun, the moral high-ground or what is ultimately right and wrong will be of absolutely no use to me. Men are victims of violent crime and murder at roughly twice the rate of women. I have yet to see any man write an equivalent peice about assault prevention including rubblish like “When you are walking down the street and you see a man you suspect has a fat wallet on him, remember not stab and rob him”.

    Also, the implication that men need to be told not to rape women is exactly equivalent to suggesting that black men need to be told not to mug people becasue some black men mug people. It also leaves out the reality that women are capable of rape too and men are often victims of rape. Some men are the rape victims of women, imagine that. I’m sure the 200,000 (annual) or so male prisoners who are victims of rape would be grateful if you didn’t pretend they don’t exist. Many of them are quite literally locked up with their rapist and are serially raped. Why do I get the feeling that you won’t be at all outraged or even particularly concerned about that. This post is clearly a gender vs. gender approach to the problem.

    Taking a serious issue like rape and giving this utterly juvenile treatment is counter productive.

  59. Possibly the most ridiculous piece of excrement I have ever seen. I taught rape prevention and self-defense in the Y, and this crap and not taking responsibility for your own actions is the ULTIMATE in female infantilization. Good job, you’ve gone a long way to inject wonk positions into real life.

    If you’d shown this shite to the women in the 80s they’d slap the taste out of your mouth.

  60. You lost me…. I’m just wondering how many rapist, or people who know rapist are going to search this out, find it, and read it, then take it to heart. Are there a lot of rapist who are asking for help? Or are there people turning in potential rapist before they rape someone? Like the “help a child rapist before they grow up” foundation. Oh look honey Little Timmy is humping the house pet, he might potentially be a rapist, we better get him checked out. We better call the H. A. C. R. B. T. G. U. foundation!….WTF?!? :) How do you recognize a potential rapist? How do you prevent someone from raping another person? Should this be implemented into the elementary, and Jr. High school curriculum? “How to recognize a (potential) rapist”! Whether it’s your classmate, teacher, or even YOU!!! You can only go so far with sarcasm on the subject of taking sex against someone else’s will.. You should actually put up something with fact based information on the subject, for both victim, and rapist.

  61. its a good list to prove a point, but it avoids acknowledging the elephant in the room – the typical rapist isn’t an anonymous sex predator on the street. that guy’s a minority rapist. the typical rapist is your husband, your father, your boyfriend, your uncle, your teacher. somebody in your life already. indoctrinating women to be avoid the rapist they are least likely to encounter is foolish. there is only one helpful rape prevention list necessary and it looks a little something like this:


    1. end all the relationships you have with all men.

  62. You do realize that tip #10 is exactly what rapists(and rapists to be) are NOT going to do. In fact, I daresay that at least one rapist has read this post and probably copied this list as things to avoid when raping a woman. Men who rape often prefer to target women who know them; or at least have met them and trust them because that way their defense attorneys can exploit her prior trust to manipulate jurors into doubting her story.

    If you want to actually prevent rape, the thing to do is to empower people with knowledge(and physical weapons too)so that they can recognize when they’re in a dangerous situation. EVEN IF it “feels” safe to them. Rape by a complete stranger in a public place does happen but it is considerably rarer than the media would have you believe.

  63. As both a former assistant district attorney and the father of two young women, I think that the best thing parents can do to prepare their daughters to be able to defend themselves is to enroll them at about age 8 or 9 in a course of martial arts, and insist that they keep at it. One daughter learned the basics; the other went on to black-belt. Either one could add a soprano to the choir, or to the angelic choir if necessary.

  64. This is OFFENSIVE! The punishment should fit the crime…”IF YOU ARE CONVICTED OF RAPE…CASTRATION SHOULD BE THE PUNISHMENT!!!” A rapist (or Pedophile) will NEVER CHANGE, and the punishment is NOT SEVERE ENOUGH!! I KNOW a man would “think twice” if he knew his “Manhood” would be in jeopardy if he got caught…AND THEY WILL ALWAYS GET CAUGHT…eventually!

  65. #1 Rape prevention strategy: Buy a gun. Learn how to use it. Carry it openly. If a man tries to rape you, shoot him.

    In the spirit of the article:
    Only attempt to rape armed women. That way, they will shoot you and you won’t have to worry about raping anyone again.

    Self defense is a right. Don’t let anyone take that right away, ladies.

  66. Well… at the tender age of 48, I’d have to look back and ask why feminism has largely failed… since I first encountered it in the early 1980s. Equality and freedom from violence are self-evident basic human truths. It’s obvious. It’s insane they should still be an issue.

    From my own POV, i’d have to say the reason feminism fails is because the communication is tone-deaf. I am far far left of centre… I should be native constituency for feminism.

    However, I’m extremely wary of it. Why?

    Here’s why. When I first encountered feminism, it was a bit of a shock. These were the basic tenets:

    1) all men are rapists
    2) anyone accused of rape is guilty until proven innocent
    3) all rapists should be castrated or killed
    4) the definition of rape should be broadened as widely as possible.

    You can see these sentiments echoed in this thread, and exactly the same patterns cropped up in the Assange case, where not even the victims thought they’d been raped. Militant feminism is just as insane as it was in the 1980s… and is still alienating people.

    So… it seems like a current meme involves getting all indignant that “women are given anti-rape safety advice” while “men are not taught not to rape”.

    Sorry, that’s bullshit. We (humans) are all taught socially acceptable norms from a very early age.

    Back to tone-deaf communication again. All this piece does is insult people who were never going to commit rape in the first place, while having zero effect on actual rapists. It’s like having a sign up at The Metropolitan Museum of Art saying “Please Don’t Spit On The Floor”. Tone-deaf communication.

    Don’t look at this as an argument. Look at it as customer feedback.

  67. the link to lists telling potential victims how to behave is no longer active. Could you maybe update it? It’s useful for readers of this post to know what it is you are mocking and being sarcastic about. Thanks!

  68. This is absurd. There are things a person can do to avoid being raped, just as there are things you can do to lessen the risk of being the victim of other violent crimes. There are also many false allegations of rape, some of which put innocent people in jail for decades. I mean come on, that Strauss-Kahn settlement was clearly just a ploy to make money and ruin someone’s political career.

  69. No one deserves to be raped, it is a horrible crime. The victims don’t ask for it. How selfish is this author to mock someone for putting up tips that might prevent a rape? Saying that taking steps to prevent a rape from happening to someone else blames the victim is illogical. If you are truly anti-rape then you will realize that rape happens, there are rapists in this world and would encourage everyone to take precautions that might save them from a horrible experience.

  70. Ads that target potential criminals and not potential victims have been found to reduce sexual assault by 10%. So to all the children whining: you’re wrong, and your wrongness is harmful.

  71. It’s sad, and really pathetic, so many here are taking it upon themselves to declare any advice to prevent rape for women to be “supporting rape”. It’s disgusting and completely idiotic.

    If I am given a travel warning regarding types of people to avoid showing or giving money to in a foreign nation because they will likely attack and rob me, I don’t ignore it on principle.

    If i’m told not to walk down a suspicious alleyway in a bad neighbourhood because i’m likely to get attacked and mugged, I don’t ignore it on principle.

    If i’m told not to leave valuables in my car, or have that car unlocked, in a certain area, I don’t ignore it on principle.

    This isn’t about what you wear. Regardless of what you wear you are the victim if you’re raped. What you wear relates in no way to what the sick assholes did to you. But that doesn’t stop the fact you were raped.

    Rape prevention is simply another crime prevention. It is not an establishment of guilt any more than hiding your car valuables when you go to the beach.

  72. Satirical genius placing the responsibility for sexual violence squarely where it belongs….with the perpetrator.
    Such a shame to see so many people seriously missing the point.

  73. This list is simply awesome! Thanks so much for coming up with it. And to all the people with the nasty, mean comments…Jeez, get a freaking sense of humor, people! And, also to the dudes who think that this list is directed at all men…no, no, no, no, no! Duh, it’s directed at rapists! Yes, most rapists happen to be men, but that does not mean that the writer of the list thinks that all men are rapists! And the vast majority of rape victims ARE women, thus the focus on women in the list. Man, some people are just so willing to be offended by anything, not matter what, while completely missing the point. Use your brains, people. If you thought about the message this list is trying to convey for more than half a second, you laugh, stop being offended and re-post this list for all the women you love in your life!

  74. raping is a very bad act and should be avoided and prevented by all means.

  75. Realy!!!!!!!!!!! Rape is NOT good, and it should not happen. However There are those who encourage advances and then call “RAPE”. It is a shame that this issue makes women think ill of a man when he mearly notices them.

  76. Pingback: Red My Lips | DTV

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