My birthday reverie for my girls, and for every girl

My twin daughters just turned 16. Along with the incredible gratitude and hardly-contained love I feel for my children, I wanted to reflect on being a parent in this particular moment in time.

1. I remember having dreamy day-dreams imagining my twin daughters as sixteen-year-olds.
2. I wondered what kind of parent I would become. Do I have the freedom to make mistakes?
3. I want to fearlessly talk with them about sex, life, death, relationships and their place in the world—no matter how anxious it makes me.
4. I ask myself, will my children actually talk to me or ignore me?
5. I worry about all that could happen to them and they show me their enduring resilience every day.
6. I look around and try to understand the world they live in.
7. I stand back and observe their friendships—what are they saying to each other?
8. I see who they choose to hang out with. I embrace these new voices of authority and look for openings of influence.
9. I watch them try to figure out who they are while bathed in pop culture, hoping I resonate down deep.
10. I expect them to be kind to the awkward kid at school.
11. I hope they have the right information to share with a friend who’s in trouble.
12. I quake at the thought of their first relationship—let it be caring, fun, and nurturing.
13. I yearn for teachers that ignite their curiosity and respect their thinking.
14. I optimistically expect that all the adults around them will demonstrate loving and equitable relationships.
15. I imagine them standing up for their friends and joining with strangers to build their community.
16. I long to raise brave, lion-hearted, compassionate, jubilant, genuine young women who can take care of themselves, will experience sustenance in their work, and express love for themselves and those they hold dear.