When someone wants to control their partner, they can usually find a way to do it.
Tag: emotional abuse
I’m still living under his rules
It can take a long time to heal from the psychological effects of domestic violence.
News you can relate to
Some news stories that caught our eye this week:
Hundreds of Detained Children and Mothers Could Soon Be Released “I continue to feel let down by the response from DHS, which really seems to be clinging to a model that doesn’t work and harms children,” said Clara Long, U.S. researcher at Human Rights Watch. “And they have a lot of money sunk in that model. So I guess it’s understandable that they want to cling to it.”
Amelia Boynton Robinson, a Pivotal Figure at the Selma March, Dies at 104 “I wasn’t looking for notoriety,” she said. “But if that’s what it took,” she added, “I didn’t care how many licks I got. It just made me even more determined to fight for our cause.”
Head Lice, Red Flags, and Emotional Abuse When I was pregnant, I asked him: “Please, don’t talk down to me the way you do in front of our children when they are born.” He responded “Then don’t be someone I have to talk down to.”
I can’t wait to see this documentary:
News you can relate to
Some news stories that caught our eye this week:
Grandma Gatewood: The Domestic Violence Survivor Who Became an Appalachian Trail Heroine Alone “After seeing a National Geographic feature on the trail that noted how no woman had completed it on her own, Gatewood who was living in Ohio at the time got an itch to make history.”
Shutting Off the Gaslight A moving meditation from a survivor of emotional abuse of what it takes to recover from the lies their abuser convinced them to believe about themself.
The Women Who Face More Traumatic Brain Injury Than NFL Players The Sojourner Center, one of the largest U.S. domestic violence shelters, is launching an ambitious program dedicated to the study of TBI in women and children living with domestic violence.
TRUTH: Meet Danny TRUTH is a national trans and gender nonconforming youth storytelling campaign that aims to build empathy, understanding, and a movement for youth to share their stories in their own words and in their own way.
50 different opinions and counting…
Lately my internet life has been inundated with debate over 50 Shades of Grey. So far, I’ve heard that the movie perpetuates violence against women, that it’s empowering for women, that it reinforces negative stereotypes around BDSM, that it’s an appealing fantasy. I haven’t read the books or seen the movie but 50 Shades of Grey has become a cultural phenomenon that is hard to ignore.
I just want to start out acknowledging that there is no lack of movies (or books) that glamorize controlling, abusive, and unhealthy relationships. Have you ever seen a movie that follows the story of a young, naïve women who meets a wealthy, powerful, and troubled man who uses manipulative, controlling tactics, and then claims it as true love? Does Beauty and the Beast come to mind? How about Twilight?
So, why is this story the one to spark a debate? I don’t know. But whether you like it or hate it, it has launched people into a dialogue around topics our culture largely ignores and thinks of as taboo—what healthy sex looks like, women’s sexuality, domestic violence, and emotional abuse. I wish these conversations had been happening when I was younger. Instead of being taught that my sexuality was to be guarded, shameful, or simply not important, I wish I had been told that women have the freedom and agency to choose and explore. I wish I had been told that abuse can be emotional, not just physical.
Everyone deserves to be in a good relationship. Everyone deserves the freedom to choose what their relationship looks like, what their sexuality looks like and what their love looks like. Whether you see or read 50 Shades of Gray or not, I encourage you to use it as a way to talk to your kids, your partner, and your friends about the dynamics of domestic violence, about what a good relationship is (and is not), and what healthy, consensual sex looks like.
News you can relate to
Some news stories that caught our eye this week:
- Girls in the UK who are scared their families are taking them out of the country in order to force them into marriage, are hiding spoons in their underwear.
- “My first marriage taught me that abuse is not always obvious to the victim, nor those closest to her/him. It begins with love, dreams and promises of a happy life together. Slowly this changed, and after giving in to a series of outbursts, I found myself in a position that I had never dreamed of.”
- Native Americans are pointing out that beyond environmental problems, the Keystone Pipeline will cause an “onslaught of violence against women and families that energy development brings against our people.”
- Enjoy this charming fantasy of alternatives to street harassment (explicit language).
Can You Relate? 