See something, say something

You’ve probably seen the “See something, say something” signs on the bus or at the airport. It’s about preventing terrorism, of course, but the sad reality for women in this country is that their biggest risk doesn’t look like an oddly placed backpack at a bus stop.

Thankfully, some women hitting happy hour in Santa Monica recently did see something and said something. They witnessed a man slip something into a woman’s drink when she was in the bathroom. One of the witnesses promptly went to warn her. She was stunned but glad to know. When they asked how well she knew the guy (expecting a ‘we-just-met’ scenario), the woman said, “He’s one of my best friends.”

HE’S ONE OF HER BEST FRIENDS.

This, my friends, is where we need to open our eyes. With so much fearmongering out there about strangers in the bathroom, this story brings us back to the actual problem. Who’s committing rape? People we know.

This guy broke several of these rape prevention tips, but the quick thinking ladies-who-happy-hour and the wait staff acted swiftly and decisively and the guy was arrested before he left the restaurant. Kudos to everyone who chose not to ignore or second guess what was happening. Thank you for believing that this was possible and that you could and should do something about it!

I want a world where it wouldn’t even cross someone’s mind to drug their friend. But until that happens, let’s do what the fine folks in Santa Monica did: See something, say something.

see something, say something

 

What I’m saying to my kids

My mom asked me the other day what I’ve said to my kids about the state of the world these days. It made me  pause, because I’m at a point in time where I don’t have to say anything. We don’t actually watch the news in our house, I turn down NPR when the kids are in the car, and the only TV we do watch are Netflix kid shows or silly YouTube videos. (Just so you know this is the kind of nonsense my kids have been watching lately.)

It’s different than the world I grew up in where even watching Punky Brewster, I ran the risk of seeing war, terrorism, and murder. Now even though in reality there is more media and more stimulation, my little family can be insulated from it. And while I appreciate that, I also feel like I am not living up to my responsibility as a parent to help my children react to and deal with the realities of human suffering and injustice.

For instance, we just celebrated Thanksgiving and each year I am more aware of the lies I was taught as a child about the way white settlers treated the Native people they encountered. It makes me want to simultaneously scream, “Everything is terrible!” and hold my children close and wonder at the beauty of a world that has them in it.

And so, I realize that I must talk with my children about the state of the world. Talk with them about the real history of Thanksgiving and a new way forward. Talk with them about our responsibility to stand up for refugees in need. Talk with them about striving for kindness and gratitude, and about forgiveness and accountability when we fail. Talk with them about flowers and small acts of rebellion in a world that seems filled with violence.

So here is what I commit to saying to my children. In the midst of the violence, know that I love you and that I want a just world for us all, so let’s try to bring about peace together.

News you can relate to

Some news stories that caught our eye this week:

It’s great to have laws that protect victims of abuse, but how can we make sure those laws are being enforced? KIRO 7 looks into two domestic violence murders that could have been prevented.

An op-ed in the New York Times highlights research that “suggests that a felony domestic violence conviction is the single greatest predictor of future violent crime among men.” If we took domestic violence more seriously, perhaps these men would have lost their guns or their freedom before moving from terrorizing their partners to assaulting others.

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to participate in the Refuse To Abuse 5k? Andrew Rice shares the inside scoop on his experiences. Spoiler—he had a great time!

News you can relate to

Some news stories that caught our eye this week:

A pair of disturbing articles about the criminalization of pregnant women: Wisconsin’s law allows the state to jail women if they are suspected of drug abuse while Tennessee charges drug-addicted women with assault once they deliver.

We here at WSCADV always want to hear what Connie Burk has to say, and here she is with some choice words on preventing violence in LGBTQ communities.

The man who held and killed hostages in Sydney this week was, unbelievably, out on bail for involvement in the murder of his ex-wife, and more than 40 charges of sexual and indecent assault. And yet the Australian government is planning to spend more money fighting terrorism, not family and sexual violence.